Why 2013 Left Us Scratching our Heads
Lily Golightly
In the Twilight Zone episode ‘Stopover in a Quiet Town’ there is a couple who awakes from a night of heavy drinking to find that the world that they inhabit is a bit off. It’s later revealed that due to their irresponsible drinking, they were snatched up by a giant human who then gifted them to his gigantic shitty daughter. This is exactly how 2013 felt- if I woke up from a year long coma today and found out that Miley Cyrus had a mohawk, Kim named her baby North West, and the Pope was good, I’d probably not believe you. Here are the top ten confusing events of 2013 in no particular order:
1. Lady Gaga made everybody uncomfortable when she fired her manager, sunk $25 million into promoting her album Art Pop and it flopped. Beyonce released an album on a random Thursday only to dominate the charts just hours after its release.
2. Everyone, myself included (http://ladygunn.com/stories/hairdresser-on-fire-a-short-hair-saga), cut their hair super short… including but not limited to Miley, J-Law, Beyonce and Rhianna and maybe the ‘brooding’ One Direction guy.
3. In the spirit of 90’s style everything, fashion gave us crop tops, plaid, and other grunge inspired looks. We also had a resurgence of 90’s icons like NSYNC who performed at the VMAS and Kathleen Hanna who released a record with her new project, The Julie Ruin this past Fall.
4. A guy (George Zimmerman) shot another guy (Trayvon Martin), beat two separate girlfriends, and did not go to jail. He did however, paint a picture and sell it for $100,000!
5. We saw Spring Breakers and loved it or hated it.
6. We watched Orange is the New Black while eating Paleo brownies that our friend brought over after she went to Crossfit and read Amanda Bynes’ twitter feud with Perez Hilton.
7. When we asked ‘is that politician smoking crack?’ the answer was yes (Rob Ford).
Also a NYC mayoral candidate with the last name Weiner gained notoriety surrounding his actual wiener proving that jokes do write themselves (Anthony Weiner/Carlos Danger).
8. Your hard earned income taxes paid for my new health insurance. Thanks Obama.
9. Everything got a little less cool when Lou Reed died.
10. Racists everywhere (Paula Deen, Justine Sacco) did not get jailed for their comments (thanks First Amendment!) but they did suffer the career snuffing consequences and public shame.
Soon we can expect to see giant baby hands a la Twilight Zone, but until then we’ll just have to wait to see what kind of crazy shenanigans 2014 has in store for us!
