Intro + Interview / Tiffany Diane Tso
Words + Art / Panteha Abareshi
Photos / Kelsey Bennett
Panteha Abareshi is a teenage artist from Tucson, Ariz. Her recent accomplishments include a solo show with the same title as her short documentary, The Girl Who Loves Roses. The video was Ā the first of The Frontās āUnder Her Skinā series, created by sisters RĆ©my and Kelsey Bennett. Panteha is giving representation to mental and physical illness through her art, as a person living with Sickle Cell Beta Zero Thalassemiaāa genetic disease that leaves its victim in chronic pain.
While I can only make a weak attempt, Panteha is probably the best person to tell you who Panteha is.Ā This is Panteha:Ā
Iām Panteha Abareshi, a young human, a young artist. I identify as a lot of things, but I think my identity as an artist/creator is one of the most important things I identify as. Because I didnāt begin drawing with the intention of being an artist, coming to a place where I can call myself one, and feel a part of the artist culture, was an amazing and important moment for me. I strongly identify as a Woman of Color, and itās important to me that the cultural and racial identities that [compose] my identity as a WOC are acknowledged. Iām second-generation Iranian and Jamaican, born in Montrealā¦ One of the most important facets of my identity is my sexual and romantic identity. Itās interesting because even though it is important, my romantic/sexual identity is also intentionally very vague. I identify with pansexuality, asexuality, aromanticism and demi-romanticism. There are so many titles to use as identification, that it sometimes become more overwhelming being confronted with the need to pick one. All that being said, thereās a lot of things that I identify with and as, and when it comes to identifying myself in the general sense, itās easier to just say, āIām Panteha, and Iām an artist,ā and leaving the rest of it for laterā¦
I didnāt see myself as a Real Artistā¢ for a very long time, finally calling myself that, and being recognized as an artist by other artists I respect was a very big moment for me. I still struggle immensely with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, and I definitely sometimes feel like I donāt ādeserveā to be called an artist. I feel like when I say āIām an artist,ā I have to follow it with āwellā¦ Iām an illustrator, I guess. I mean, I draw. Sort of.ā and just sort of spiral into a slew of self-deprecating word-vomit.Ā
My sickle cell is unfortunately the thing that most people cling to, and that and my race are often what my identity is boiled down to. Because my art is about my mental illness, it is extremely upsetting that when people know about my sickle cell, they assume that my work is about the physical pain, and not the mental pain. Itās ironic, because thatās exactly the flaw in society that I speak out against and am trying to confront in my workā¦
I only draw WOC because itās extremely important for me to create the kind of female characters that I missed growing up, and still feel the absence of in contemporary art and media today. Drawing these WOC, who are also the embodiments of my struggles with mental illness, is a big part of me expressing and deepening my identity as a WOC, and coping with my emotions and depression…
Iām a very isolated and insular person, so itās easy for me to just be alone in my bedroom working on my pieces, and not really registering their reception by the outside world. Still though, it doesnāt push me to change what Iām drawing or creating. Iāll never stop making art for myself, because I think I need it the most.
